Since when has CPAP been perceived as not sexy? Sleep apnea is what is not sexy. Sleep apnea is a serious sleep disorder that can have damaging effects such as pregnancy complications, glaucoma, and motor vehicle accidents due to improper sleep. Well, as Justin Timberlake says, “It’s time to bring Sexy Back.” What is sexy is something that combats sleep apnea… Meet the CPAP. The CPAP is the heavyweight champ in fighting sleep apnea and if you don’t think that’s sexy enough, CPAP therapy has also proven to make you appear more physically attractive and – gentlemen – CPAP therapy will improve erectile dysfunction. How is that for sex appeal?! Without further ado, here are the top 12 sexiest CPAP wearing people.
The Fitness Babe… You’ve Got to Burn It To Earn It!
- Lightest full face mask on the market
- Sleek, lightweight design with only four parts
- Quiet, comfortable seal for uninterrupted sleep
Here we have a textbook example of a woman who “gets it”. She likes to work out, has a million dollar smile, great hair, and legs that seemingly go on for days (even in this cropped image). The only thing she doesn’t seem to get is armbands. Unless she sweats profusely in a tiny section of her right arm, that lone band is ineffective. But I digress; she is a woman who clearly understands that health is paramount. That being said, there is no doubt that she knows the health benefits of wearing a CPAP on a nightly basis. If I know this babe like I think I know her, I’m willing to bet the farm that she sports a Quattro Air Full Face Mask. Not only is it the lightest mask on the market, but it’s quiet, comfortable seal allows her to get the uninterrupted beauty sleep that she’s accustomed to.
The Sudsy Siren who is… SoClean!
- Destroys 99.9% of bacteria, viruses, and mold
- Completely automated – time-saving operation
- Supports a wide range of mask types
She is SoClean!!! So clearly the invigorating grapefruit bath soap with citrus fruit extracts is revitalizing and softly cleansing her skin… However, this formula that is most definitely enhanced with shea butter and vitamins C and E is just not clean enough for this seductive siren. That’s why she brought her SoClean in the tub with her. The SoClean destroys 99.9% of bacteria, viruses, and mold living in her CPAP mask and tube so clearly her goal is to not just be clean but to be SoClean! Ps – If smiles could kill… Holy cannoli! My heart’s melting as I type.
Ms. Know It All
- Get a CPAP Prescription online in as little as 24 hours
- Purchase any CPAP mask, CPAP machine, or CPAP supply with RX
- Secure, discreet, and hassle-free evaluation by a licensed physician
Wait… Where is her CPAP mask?! She doesn’t have one because she needs a prescription for it. Luckily this bodacious beauty knows that she can get a CPAP prescription online in less than 24 hours with Easy Breathe’s CPAP RX Package. Ah… smart and sexy – a deadly combo! On another note, I’ve never had a girl look at me like she’s looking at that sign… Does that mean I need to start offering super quick online CPAP prescriptions? Med school here I come!
The Holiday Girl… It’s a Festivus Miracle!
- Simple by design, created to resemble the Swift FX
- Lightweight, easy to fit
- Covers gently over the nose
The holiday season is upon us, and I know one lady who I wouldn’t mind being with under the mistletoe. Those green pants just scream style on a lady who clearly has great taste. Wherever there is a Christmas tree, you’re bound to find some presents, and this gorgeous woman is probably hoping Santa gets her the Swift FX Nano this year. One of the newest styles available this holiday season, this mask is lightweight, and won’t cover her mouth so you can still sneak in a special kiss goodnight.
The Yoga Babe… Ommmmmmmmmmmmm
- Ball-joint elbow rotates 360 degrees to accommodate various sleeping positions
- Clear silicone frame fits nicely around the face
- Modified dual-wall nasal cushion provides a supportive seal with greater flexibility
Teaching a barre method workout class isn’t an easy task; it takes a lot of dedication to get keep the class enthused and entertained for a great workout. The last thing this beauty wants is her class size to shrink right before her eyes. She may fit nicely in a double zero size, but that isn’t enough for her to take a break. Exercise is her life. After a long day of exercising her body and probably a few men’s minds, she wants nothing more than a good night’s sleep in her evening gown and Swift FX Nano Nasal Mask. The 360 degree rotating swivel on the front of the mask may make her resemble Dumbo, which happens to be her favorite Disney movie. Adorable!
The “I Only Eat Organic” Diva
- First Full Face mask to use the cushion and clip snap in device
- Forehead dial allows user to adjust distance between mask and face
- Highest standard in comfort among all Full Face Masks, cushion padded for complete comfort around your face
If you’re not into a healthy lifestyle, or you tend to procrastinate over a large bag of chips, you still have a chance with this beauty. If of course, she doesn’t judge you for your “lack-of” healthy choices. By 9 o’clock she has already done her back-to-back Yoga classes, picked up her green tea and walked back home to prepare this delicious, healthy bowl of crisp romaine decorated with California tomatoes, pear maple squash, and a splash of diet balsamic dressing and lemon wedges. Yummy! It isn’t easy being beautiful! You know whe takes her sleep seriously too. She probably likes to sleep with the Mirage Quattro Full Face Mask, as it covers all elements of her money maker and is the highest standard in comfort, ensuring a full-night’s sleep.
The Ultimate Surfer Chick… Crushing Waves and Hearts!
- Stops the loss of treatment pressure through the mouth for more comfortable and effective therapy
- Four forehead adjustments to create optimal seal
- Excellent seal without tight headgear
Surfs up, dudes! Here we have what’s known to all guys as a “major babe”. She doesn’t care about what she eats, how much she drinks, or what her reputation is. She’s a surfer chick without a care in the world. Drink all day, party all night and be up early in the morning hangin’ ten on some choice waves in the ‘Bu. She aspires to be a pro surfer and travel the globe but if she doesn’t go pro she’ll settle for modeling in Pac Sun catalogs. Free clothes! Cowabunga! If this aqua-marine gem sleeps at all she probably wears the Ultra Mirage Full Face Mask because she wants that optimal seal so she can be tubular on the waves on the flip side.
The Farmer’s Daughter… Holy Old MacDonald!
- Designed to easily flex to the needed position for a better fit
- Headgear is soft to the touch and is designed to help provide a fit through the night
- Minimalistic design only has four parts to make cleaning and maintenance easy
Forget any Dukes of Hazard references that come to mind, this hot chick knows her cars. Do not let looks deceive you, this chick is as blue-collar as they come. If you even begin to doubt her skills and knowledge of cars, she’d be more than happy to tighten that loose screw in your head. After a long day of working on cars in the hot, desert sun, she’s looking for nothing more than to have a cold one with friends at the local bar. Maybe if you’re lucky, she’ll let you buy her one… You thought she looked hot in that white tank but you haven’t even seen her at night, sporting the Mirage FX Mask System yet! Holy smokes! Oh and no, she does not wear the Amara because it’s a genus of sun beetle.
Ms. Veronica Vaughn – Get It? (Fine… Mrs. Robinson)
- Hybrid mask
- Offers full face freedom in a minimal design
- Comfortable alternative to conventional full face masks
And… you’re dreaming! You were dreaming that this student wouldn’t behave and had been nothing but a distraction to the class so you decide to send her to detention. You’re a teacher, you do the math to figure out what happens next… Ya right, come back to Earth, pal! You’re not actually a teacher and there’s a good chance this voluptuous blonde is smarter than you. Did you see the chalkboard behind you?! She knows that E=MC^2. This dynamic diva is a free spirit and as such she probably wears the Mirage Liberty. Not because it fits comfortably over the mouth but strictly because of the name.
The Couple that Wear CPAPs Together (on the beach) Stay Together
- Unobtrusive, lightweight design offers an open field of vision
- Soft and stable cushion and quiet performance
- Compact size with fewer parts
What a fun day these two are having on the beach! Nothing but sunshine and smiles surround these two beautiful people. Looking at this picture, you can just feel the abundant love and affection these two share for each other. There’s nothing anyone could do to distract these two lovebirds from enjoying the beautiful day. After they have a picnic and watch the sun set over the ocean, they’ll walk home holding hands only to slip on their Quattro FX and Quattro FX for Her, Mask Systems later that night. Have you ever experienced the sensation of a mutual Quattro FX goodnight kiss? Neither have I, but I bet it’s nothing short of true bliss…
Hot guy alert! Hot guy alert!
We couldn’t just do an article with attractive women only, now could we? That, some may find sexist. Fellas, if you’re reading this in bed, it’s time to take your masks off and see what’s coming next in this article, because it pertains to you. Viewer discretion is advised, so if you can’t handle this then maybe it’s time to put your masks on and go to bed! It’s time to meet some of the sexy CPAP men that slipped right by Gentlemen Quarterly.
The Construction Worker Hunk
- Patients receive 40 minutes more sleep per night using AirFit™ P10 compared to Swift™ FX
- 50% quieter and around 50% lighter than the popular Swift™ FX mask
- Fit the QuickFit™ elastic headgear in less than 30 seconds
Well now, lets see…what can’t this man’s man do? After a long day of back breaking construction work, this handsome fella is taking his rope over to the Crossfit Studio to do some slam-downs. Sure, he just got done working a 7-5 shift, but the amount of time he spends on his body is never ending. Ladies, don’t be intimidated by his tough exterior, this guy is a teddy bear at heart and all he wants in life is to lend a helping hand. It isn’t his fault that he’s seemingly made of steel! He is always on alert, even when dozing off to go to bed so he refuses to wear a mask that touches his face and obstructs his vision, making the AirFit P10 Mask System his ideal choice. This mask provides a clear view of his face and allows him to see what’s in front of him at all times, just in case he sees a leaky faucet somewhere that needs to be fixed.
Mr. “Shirts are Always Optional”
- Offers two different ways to wear the mask – Swift FX headgear or Bella loops
- Design provides a customized fit and soft feel for personal comfort
- Easy and quick to fit with minimal parts for ease of use
When you look this good, why would you wear a shirt? Those abs will melt any woman’s heart. He’s probably walking around Hollywood right now trying to find the first beautiful woman who DOESN’T reach for his chest, buy her a cup of coffee, and then melt her heart. Yup, it’s a win/win for this guy! However, with all the ladies he encounters, there isn’t much time for sleep, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t needed. His mask of choice is the Swift FX Bella Grey. He doesn’t want anything but the pillow and several sets of female hands touching that beautiful head of hair of his .
*This is a satirical piece of content and is not meant to be offensive. We hope you enjoy.
