It’s that time of the year again – when we mine the Twittersphere to find the funniest #CPAP tweets. This year, CPAP hit a number of grand slams that make it, yet again, the undefeated champion against obstructive sleep apnea. Here are some of the funniest #CPAP tweets of 2014.
1. 99 Problems But Snoring Ain’t One
I got 99 problems but snoring ain’t one! #SleepApnea #cpap #sleep #snoring
— Sleep! (@CPAPnea) November 23, 2014
Woo hoo! We’re glad that CPAP is helping your snoring – I’m sure Jay Z had no idea that this song lyric would be used in this context. It’s also great that CPAP is conquering your snoring, because a recent study showed that snoring in your twenties might be an early indicator sleep apnea and a domino effect-like onset of symptoms later in life.
2. Dreams of Being a Fighter Pilot
Confession: When I put on my #CPAP, I pretend I’m a jet pilot. Please tell me I’m not the only one. — s. e. smith (@sesmithwrites) September 26, 2014
No, you aren’t alone! Whatever floats your boat – people probably imagine they are all sorts of characters with a CPAP mask on; it’s one of the plus sides of undergoing CPAP treatment.
3. Santa Has Type 2 Diabetes
My Santa has type-II diabetes and wears a sleep-apnea mask to bed. — Greenfield-Sanders (@Liliana) December 16, 2014
Yes, sleep apnea has a definitive link to Type 2 diabetes. In fact, this year a study came out showing that sleep apnea can wreak havoc on diabetic kidneys. If anyone has sleep apnea, there is a good chance Santa has it – round in the belly, rosy cheeks and a predilection for chocolate chip cookies. But as long as he sticks to dedicated CPAP treatment, he’ll be just fine.
4. Mo’ CPAP Mo’ Problems
It is now the era of the #cpap
— UnderpaidAppraiser (@WayneHenry) October 22, 2014
@UnderpaidAppraiser – sure, it’s the era of CPAP, but it’s also an era of less sleep apnea symptoms and a longer, fuller life. You may not get paid enough to appraise whatever you appraise and CPAP may be a minor inconvenience, but compared all the life you get to live, it’s definitely worth it! So breathe in and enjoy. Here is a survival guide for all those people out there having trouble adjusting to CPAP.
5. Oldest CPAP Ever Unearthed
Holy Moses! This is an old #cpap. #classic #nohumidifer #getanewcpapeveryfiveyears pic.twitter.com/4HHuKNc5Hh
— Texas Sleep Doc (@TexasSleepDoc) September 2, 2014
Holy Moses is definitely right – you may have found the actual CPAP that Moses used when was writing the 10 Commandments. He was so tired that he left out the commandment, “Thou Shalt Not Use The Same CPAP For More Than Five Years.” It’s true, if you have a CPAP dinosaur like this one, it is definitely time for an upgrade.
6. Nothing Is More Impressive
I can’t wait to show off my new CPAP to my dinner guests tonight. Nothing is more impressive than a guy with Sleep Apnea! — ThoughtsFromParis (@tfpHumorBlog) December 13, 2014
In fact, nothing is more impressive than a guy that brings his CPAP to dinner – now that is compliance! There are plenty of impressive people who use CPAP. You are in good company. Be proud you’re getting the help you need.
7. Murder Jokes Aren’t Funny #orarethey
Just realized that the old days of smothering someone with a pillow are over. #CPAP Ha! #deepthoughts — Me (@mama_grits) December 2, 2014
Indeed, now that your snoring bed partner uses CPAP, you don’t have to worry about going into a blind range and smothering him or her with a pillow. But if the CPAP gets on your nerves, you may want to invest in a whisper quiet CPAP mask or machine. Nothing is settled until the battle against sound is won.
8. You Look Sexy With That CPAP
Damn. I look so sexy wearing my #CPAP machine at night . . . said NO ONE EVER. #humility
— Nancy O. (@MomOfTeen) November 29, 2014
A lot of people think that CPAP is going to ruin their chances in the bedroom, but a recent study literally put this rumor to bed by showing that CPAP doesn’t ruin your sexual quality of life at all – in fact, it may just improve it. It can even make you even make you more attractive.
