‘Twas a week before Christmas, when all through the house
Santa’s snoring made the Mrs. reconsider her vows
Which is why Mrs. Claus went downstairs exploring
For a stocking to stuff in his mouth for the roaring.
With Santa all snuggled in bed,
And visions of delivering presents in his head,
Mrs. Claus thought with his sleep apnea this bad,
Driving a sleigh through the night will certainly be mad!
When almost all hope was lost, Mrs. Claus went to the computer,
To Google and find a solution to suit her,
Not before long she found Easy Breathe,
And knew all would be right by Christmas Eve.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Mrs. Claus learned all she needed to know,
She had to get her hands on a CPAP so new,
And no system’s complete without SoClean2.
So the little old lady, so lively and quick,
Called Easy Breathe and ordered CPAP for St. Nick
After a few nights of use, the CPAP worked just as touted
And with great exuberance, Santa popped up and he shouted
“Now Dasher! Now Dancer!
Now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen!
My sleep apnea symptoms suddenly seem rather small!
Dash away blasted symptoms!
Dash away all!”
So up to the house-tops the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, St. Nicholas knew:
If it weren’t for CPAP and Mrs. Claus too
This year he wouldn’t have come through.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”
